...and that's okay!
I used to be super self conscious about this but I asked myself, why?
Why are you endlessly embarrassed by someone thinking you LIKE something.
What's wrong with liking something?
And what's wrong with people knowing that you like something?
I mean, it's not hard to figure out that I felt this way because of years of mean people, at home, at school, at work, constantly questioning my choices.
But why did I listen to them for so long instead of the things that made me happy?
This is top of my mind because I got a few shirts when I was in Detroit and when I bought one of them, I turned to KPerks in the car and said, "I am gonna wear this shirt so many times over the next few weeks."
(this is same design, except mine is a t-shirt weight crop top hoodie and the screenprint is in P-Valley Pynk. I'm wearing it right now. Thank 248Studio for the rad shirt!)
And I was right. I've been home since Saturday and do you want to know how many times I've worn this shirt since then?
It was the first thing I put on after my bath Saturday, then I wore it lazy Sunday Morning.
Washed it on Monday, folded it on Tuesday.
Then I put it right back on again Wednesday for a podcast recording and friend hang.
And then I woke up this morning and put it back on, because I knew I was gonna see humans today.
I dunno why my brain attached to this shirt and not the very exciting Third Man Records shirt I got myself from actual Third Man Records. But it did.
If I were going out on a regular basis right now... this is the shirt you'd see me in. I'd make sure this shirt is washed for going out as often as I needed it because of the way it makes me feel.
I feel like the ultimate me and why wouldn't I want to keep that going?
So I am.
Last year, I took this to a whole new level and spent a lot of time buying what my brain called "the ultimate Jacki outfit."
Now, I had a good idea of what this outfit would look like from the outset. I knew there would be corduroy involved and it would be burgundy.
I also knew I wanted a turtleneck. I always felt mega-classy in turtlenecks for some reason.
And I also knew I wanted knee high socks and Mary Janes because I am me and that is my always ideal lower half.
The outfit came together fabulously. The burgundy corduroy came in the form of miniskirted overalls and the turtleneck was white, long-sleeved and crop topped.
Of course the socks were white and the Mary Janes were black.
It had the intended effect too! I had so much confidence even though I was just hanging out at the house, rapping to the P-Valley soundtrack.
So mind your business if you see me in the same thing over and over. I make sure it's clean and it makes me happy. So, I'm just gonna take that happiness, okay?
And even if you point it out to me in a way that seems non-threatening or jokey to you, it will still put enough of a noodge in my brain that I will stop wearing it.
Or else I'll get a new happy feels outfit and switch to that.
What clothes are you happiest in right now?