I decided to Liveblog the Emmys tonight in the hopes that there is a "What Up with That" reunion at some point in the evening. 

Just kidding, I'm doing it because I really love TV. I've been busting through so many of the nominees the past couple weeks that I think I have a good handle on what the Television Academy is awarding, too

I'm setting up a station in the TV room tonight with dinner from Potbelly and a whole lot of Cherry Coke Zero. 

And no less than four screens - the TV, my laptop, my iPad and my phone. 

Since I'll be all alone while I'm watching, I'm gonna try to make the blog as close to being there live as humanly possible, including not filtering myself and maybe adding screenshots.

I'll probably start with the red carpet at about 7pm. I dunno which stream I'm watching, but I'll update with the link as soon as I decide!

Then, the Emmys start at 8pm, with Kenan Thompson as our host. I think he's gonna do really well. I hope he makes a "Good Burger" joke. You can stream those on Peacock. 

Basically, I'll just be typing unedited reactions and hitting save randomly. Probably after each award or commercial break. You can come back the next day and read them, too. It's gonna be a good time. 

See you at 7pm? 

LIVE BLOG BEGIN

Okay, so I'm early. Of course I am. My Potbelly just arrived and this is my setup:

 

As you can see I have every screen I could possibly need and the TV directly across from me. Keeping me company tonight are Travis Snoopy (he's the one that went around the world with Mickey) and Tique - she's new. We rescued her on one of our recent adventures. She is very proctect-y, almost like a body guard. We'll keep her. 

I am watching the Red Carpet at this link. I'll be eating during the beginning part though, so be patient. 

Of course Issa Rae looks incredible. All blunt and artistic, just like her show. 

I don't know who the host is, but I adore her orange dress. 

Hannah Waddingham is a DREAM. A ball gown and flat shoes? Goddess. Perfection. I adore her. 

AHHH! I didn't know she was gonna be in Hocus Pocus 2 - playing the "Mother Witch" apparently. I can't wait even more. 

 Man, Will Poulter is looking snazzy. Loving the lapel decoration. Wait, he is BRITISH? What in the hell?! I had him pegged as a southerner in my brain. 

Oof they shot "Dopesick" during the pandemic. Thems musta been dark times. 

OKay, I think it's bullshit that the entire cast of Squid Game has to do this pony show at the same time. There are MULTIPLE NOMINEES in BIG CATEGORIES in this group. They deserve their own time to shine. 

I understand the need for an interpreter, but I'm sure it could be arranged. I dunno. It just feels wrong to me. 

Holy shit the old dood looks dapper as hell though. I love his vest. Now I feel bad for not knowing his name. I will go look it up. 

He is Oh Yeong-su! And he looks dapper as hell. 

Connie Britton looks like a talented pink highlighter and I am living for it. The cape is giving me so much glamour and I love the cavalier way she's wearing it. 

I love hearing that "The White Lotus" was a good shooting experience, cause I sure as hell loved it. I walked around the house for a solid week trying to sing the theme song. Nothing but high-pitched "OOOOOO-ooo-OOO-ooo-ooo-OOOOOO-ooo-OOOO-ooo-ooo." It's not good. 

You know what, though? It's really nice to hear them talk about the work and not just the looks. 

Sarah Niles makes that gold look hard and soft and it really works. I love how the asymmetry of her hair mirrors the asymmetry of her dress. Those earrings are outstanding!

Oh, John Turturro. He got the first audible reaction from me and I haven't even seen him yet. I loved him in Severance so much. I love his navy suit/tie combo. 

Ha, you can tell the hosts haven't seen/finished Severance, cause they just asked "Would you do it? Sever your work and home lives?". No, no he would not. 

There is a PA or someone in the background that is wearing a gorgeous floral dress that I must know more about. 

Kaitlyn Dever looks really unfussy in a wonderful way. She looks comfortable and the red really pops on her. She was heartbreaking, just soul-crushing in Dopesick. I don't think she will win tonight, but what a performance. 

Kerry Washington is so skilled at working the red carpet and tonight is no exception. Her dress is draped gorgeously and I look forward to seeing more pics of it. 

Zendaya looks like a Business Princess. The top is kind of structured with a full ball skirt. The head is perfect. 

Lisa Ann Walter looks STUNNING. THe hair, the eyes, the smile, the COLOR. And the story to go along with it all.  Her personality is really shining through and I love her energy. 

Oh shit I didn't realize Abbott Elementary was a mid-season show! Damn. The network shoulda believed in it more. It's a very funny, well-written show.  

Rhea Seehorn's subtle floral is lovely. The top is a little busy for me and looks like I'd be worried about it not looking right the whole time.

It must be so not fun to do something uncomfortable (so many interviews) while also wearing something uncomfortable (formal wear). Especially since they can't just put on a dress on their body and look fancy. They have to wear shapewear and all kinds of other bullshit. 

Why are they making her relive the trauma of Bob O's heart attack? WTF?

Paul W. Downs from Hacks!!!! He is my latest pocket person. I love his oversized pocket flower and he just is sparkling. 

Amanda Seyfried does indeed look, like she said, a mermaid princess, but like, the tail is by her face. I've loved watching her career grow since she was in Big Love. 

Melanie Lynskey is a mint dream.  I'd love to see her win tonight. Yellowjackets was very good and I look forward to seeing where it goes next season. I'm really drawn to her necklace for some reason. 

Why are the hosts asking everyone about the after party? Didn't hey get an invite?!

Okay, they are doing a clip thingie, so I'm gonna go out on the balcony for a moment before the awards start! EEEE! 

I'm back!

Did you know there is a skeleton key in the door that leads to the balcony on the Professor Haus? It's pretty cool. I also noticed the brick grout (what is the real word?) is red on our house and that's partly why it looks cool. 

Look, it's almost time, so I'm switching to Peacock in case there are any issues. 

I had no issues! I remember one time I had my friends Steve and Robyn over to watch either opening or closing ceremonies of the Olympics and my TV went all wonky and we ended up watching some weird feed that was awful but still showed stuff sometimes. It was pretty embarrassing. 

The Ceremony

Get it Kenan!!!!!!! Top hat fancy. 

Yay, first joke landed! Oh, I think he's gonna kill it (in a good way).

Oh this bit is 100% for TikTok. To get people to do these dances. 

Yoof, this is not landing. Ooh yes! I love Living Single!

Oh shit is that all that's left of the Brady Bunch. 

There's more dancing. 

Why didn't they let Kenan do a monologue?

The room set up is pretty amazing. The table lighting is fabulous. I ain't sold on the stage yet, though. 

The dancing is pretty good. I take back what I said about TikTok. 

I still think Kenan is pretty awkward in this. 

Oprah looks crisp as fuck. 

Okay, I like this setup. It feels relaxed. 

This is very chaotic, though. I don't know what's going on right now. Did they not hire writers?

Oh good the Michael Keaton crying will get done early. 

He deserves it 100%. 

Okay, but y'all cool it with the standing O's. Two people have been announced and now there have been two standing ovations. If you keep doing that, they're not gonna mean anything anymore. 

Why is Hollywood so standing O happy right now? Yikes.  

The stage kind of looks like a late night talk show set. 

Oh Michael Keaton won for best Actor in a Movie, Limited Series, Miniseries or whatever. 

Trying to remember to report the things. 

Supporting Actor in a Limited....

I'd be okay with Steve Zahn winning too. 

This ceremony is very chaotic. If the Emmys need help they should call me. 

My Hacks girls look so good! They have such good chemistry even on TV. 

Winner - Murray Bartlett! Hell yeah. He was fabulous. I hope The White Lotus wins SO MUCH tonight. 

My favorite Survivor story to tell is about Mike White, who will probably win an Emmy tonight.

The person doing the voice over gives me a really good fuzzy feeling, but I do not recognize them. 

After watching Dopesick any drug commercials make me super uncomfortable, which is an upgrade from very uncomfortable. 

Don't Don't Yourself is a pretty solid tagline. 

I think it feels weird to live in a state where I don't outright hate my governor. 

I have never watched Queer as Folk. Should I?

Kenan is back! ok, good this might finally be a monologue. 

OK yes. These jokes are good. He's got the crowd. 

Ooh slyly addressing the slap!

Oooh, I saw the Abbott Elementary crew and Janelle James looks impeccable.

And then Kenan said the AE crew used their Emmy marketing budget to buy school supplies for schools and now I'm crying. 

Yes! I thought that was Sam Jay, but wasn't 100% sure and had no success googling. She is SO FUNNY. 

Clip reel #1: DRAMA or whatever they said. 

Goddamn I can't wait for the next season of The Morning Show. 

 Oooh, ooh Supporting Actor in a Drama!!!

YES. YES. Tom Wamsgams. 

I mean Matthew McFayden. 

When he's not Tom he is very attractive. 

He deserves this for the desk flip alone. 

Supporting Actress Drama 

Julia Garner, Ozark. I get it. She is incredible. 

Oh her head is so punk rock, but in an angelic way. She's so real and accessible feeling. Yay for her.  

 Awards shows are really the only time I see commercials anymore. They are so strange, but still cool in a weird nostalgic way. 

Y'all you can gamble so many ways in Michigan. It's really lawless here. Like you can buy lotto tickets ONLINE. wtfffffff

Ugh more minions. 

Ooh, an animated bit! Is this VR? Can they see this or are they just reacting to nothing?

Ok, Sam Jay might not be for everyone, but she is for me. 

Ooh, some comedy is coming up!

The mom on The Goldbergs is so fucking good in that show. 

Best Supporting Actress Comedy - COME ON JANELLE JAMES!

Oh shit, this is a big surprise. Sheryl Lee Ralph!!!! She is crying. Had no idea. 

This is gonna be beautiful. 

She is singing. Holy shit. 

Holy fuck. 

This is incredible. 

AND NOW THE BEST SPEECH. 

She is 65 and this gives me so much hope. 

Not that I want to win an Emmy, but I can still do great things. 

Lizzo looks like a red cloud and now I want to look like a pink cloud.

Has she hosted an awards show yet? I think she'd be great. 

Supporting Actor Comedy

There is a comic here in Michigan that does a joke about Fonzie dying and every time he does it I panic, but he's never dead. It's just a bad joke. 

Brett Goldstein won for playing Roy Fuckin' Kent! I like the scroll of thank names - I feel like we're getting more genuine reactions. 

HAHAHA he got bleeped again. 

Oh boy commercials. 

Okay you won't itch anymore but you might get tuberculosis. I hate capitalism. 

The Squid Game Doll! 

OMG their banter was perfect. 

Variety Sketch Series winner is....

Saturday Night Live!

Time for a Lorne speech. 

He always looks like a turtle grandpa to me. It's real cute. 

Best Variety Talk Series

Let's see who wins!

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver!

I don't know what color we'd call his suit, but I like it very much. He's always so charming. 

Same Line 4 Ways short. Let's see how this is.  

Okay, not bad. 

Ooh, I wonder if the Please Don't Destroy guys are gonna do something!

Ok, I am already bored with the novelty of commercials.  

I made ramen the last three days and it was very tasty. The first day, I attempted a soft boiled egg with it but it was too hard. The next day I beat an egg into the sauce and that was velvety. 

So today I made some for me and Mickey to have for lunch today. I tried to make a softer boiled egg, failed at two of them and almost nailed it on the other two. I also beat an egg into the sauce. 

It was very good. 

Why is Bowen hijacking!

Okay, just a planned bit. 

I have to say, Bowen has really grown on me. I watched that Fire Island movie he was in and enjoyed it muchly. 

Okay what is this clip shit?

This seems like a weird presenter pairing. 

Supporting Actress Limited Series/Movie/Whatever

TEAM COOLIDGE!

I mean everyone was so good in The White Lotus, but Jennifer Coolidge's onion monologue. Ugh. 

YESSSSS!

I said since the first time I saw that show she was gonna win an Emmy for it. 

I'm thrilled and her dress is perfect for this moment. 

I can't wait for her speech.

She's so relatable. I love her so much. 

She looks like she's doing standup for the first time. 

She is dancing with the playoff music. 

I think I am IN for these chaotic Emmys. 

Lead Actress in Limited Whatever

SURPRISE. 

Amanda Seyfried. She picked a good dress for a winner. 

She is so nervous. I think the countdown clock must be so stressful for the winners. That's too bad they have to deal with that stress at one of the best moments of their lives so they can package this show for sale. 

But that's how I get to watch it, I guess. 

I think I should go out on the balcony next commercial, but this show doesn't have a normal rhythm, so I can't tell when their coming, so I can't prepare for a balcony visit.

Gathering the skeleton keys, iykwim. 

They'll make TV movies about anything, won't they. 

These are two people I do not know. I know they are from the new LOTR show, but I didn't even watch LOTR at all until last year. 

They are presenting Competition Program.

Lizzo's Watch Out for the BIg Grrls!

This was a long shot but I was hoping it would win. As a dancer and dance mom, it felt good to watch this show. I only wish it would have existed earlier. 

Aww the dancers are on stage. Lizzo is so amazing and important. 

Yes, let's tell more stories. 

She made some dreams come true while she's making her own dreams come true. That's the dream.

The television academy dood is awkward in the hand area. But I give him credit for getting up there. I'd be a quavery-voiced mess. 

It's Governor's Award time. I think I can prepare my balcony trip during this. 

What is Sarah Paulson's dress? I need to see all of it to figure out the scale. 

Geena Davis is the Governor's Award winner. When D was little she watched Cutthroat Island a lot, so I saw a lot of her face. 

I also saw a lot of the Spice Girls, but Spice World is iconic, so. 

Shit, I got sucked into this and forgot to prepare anything. 

Now I have to see her speech. 

I have stopped counting the standing ovations, btw. Normally it is Mickey that keeps me on track with things like that, and LL Cool J's lip licking at the Grammy's when he hosted. 

I had no idea Geena Davis had done all this work. It's pretty empowering and inspiring. 

What a short speech. I kind of respect that. 

OKAY I'M GOING SAM.

 I made it back with time to spare. 

It's downright chilly out there. I love it so much. I have on my favorite short sleeved Third Man Records sweatshirt and I feel so cozy. 

What in the Empire is this?

Of course they have to comment on Emmy's looks. 

I love the cotton candy wonder of the top half of Rosario Dawson's dress. 

Directing for Limited/Movies/Whatever

GET IT MIKE WHITE.

The White Lotus is something so special. I am so happy for him. He thanked Molly Shannon, I just love her more and more and more. 

Writing for Limited Movie Series Show

I hope it's Mike White again. 

I feel like the jokes are more real life this year. More raw?

YES GET IT MIKE WHITE. 

He mentioned Survivor, lol. 

 Accountant time!

Yeah, I'm in on this chaos. It feels fun and fresh. 

I think it might almost be cookie time. Potbelly had my second favorite, oatmeal chocolate chip tonight. My favorite is sugar. Because of the texture. 

KUMAIL!@@GNHJKFDHGKJHUIRGYT!

KUMAIL!!!! OMG. 

Omg such Harmontown vibes. I am so happy to see him. He is the killer combo of funny, hott and charismatic AF. 

YESSS GOOD BURGER JOKE!

Still loving Sam Jay. 

Now we're onto Writing for a Variety Special.

 OMG I miss Norm MacDonald so much. 

Jerrod Carmichael won, though. 

Oh lord his coat I love it. I am into his whole look. 

Oh no it's the sad part.

But "cherished icon" sounds odd. 

John Legend always be poppin' up. 

What is this song he's singing?

Drive me crazy?

Aww, Robert Morse. 😢 

Oh Gilbert Gottfried, another temporary Harmenian.

Okay that was a weird pooping commercial.  

Wait. Is La Brea about, like, the tar pits?

Is this one of those SVU shows all of a sudden?

I did not realize there was a nature as part of the stage. Neat. 

Lead Actor Comedy 

If Martin Short wins I will be sad. 

I am not sad. Jason Sudekis won! Hooray for Ted Lasso!

I really love Ted Lasso, but I truly think Brockmire walked for Ted Lasso could fly. 

Writing for Comedy Series

I love me some smarmy Will Arnett. 

But this bit is not good. 

Quinta Brunson. FUCK YES. I am stoked for y'all. Abbott Elementary is such a gem. 

Girl. GIRL. This dress is a bronze piece of art. 

I am so glad I watched this show before the Emmys so I can be happy for them instead of pointlessly angry. 

I am very tired of this windshield wiper commercial too.  

I love Jurassic Park, but I think they should stop now. I don't even want to see them anymore. 

Carm!!! Jeremy Allen White will be nominated next year. The Bear was so intense. 

Directing in a Drama Series

This one should be interesting to see where the weight will go for Best Drama Series. 

Oh, shit- Squid Game. Hwang Dong-hyuk. I kind of predicted a swish like this at the end. 

Lead Actress Drama

Come on Vilanelle!

Oh but I think this is Melanie Lynskey's to lose. 

Oh shit, no- Zendaya!!!!

I mean, I am midway through season 2 of Euphoria and she is so overpowering as Rue, who she has made into a full human being. I ain't mad at her. 

Weird preview flex, Jake Lacy. 

I think you're gonna always be creepy to me because you reminded me so much of my ex in The White Lotus. You made my skin crawl. 

Oh, Kenan, I love this suit. Excellent color. 

Lead Actress Comedy

Ooh, this one should be interesting too. Quinta or Jean? I'd be happy with either. 

Jean Smart, YES. 

Jean Smart if you are reading this, I would like you and Kim Cattrall to play relatives in something, please. 

I adore Hacks. 

I love seeing so many dresses with volume this year. 

Directing for a Comedy Series 

MOLLY SHANNON  my queen. I want her to come sit on the stoop with me. 

MJ Delaney for Ted Lasso! I am in love with her dress. 

So this makes me think that Ted will take Best Series and Abbott will be happy with their current wins regardless. 

I am not scanning a QR code and it sounds like it is killing Sam Jay to tell me to. 

Okay, they have run out of commercials for me, so I just have this reassuring "don't go anywhere" / "we'll be right back" loop playing. 

What is Blackbird? I love Paul Walter Hauser and will watch anything with him in it. 

Writing Drama Series

Jesse Armstrong, Succession. That's my show with the beautiful score. 

I love the Roys and I hate the Roys and that is okay. Because Gerri is not a Roy. 

If Adam McKay puts his name on something I will 100% watch it.

Lead Actor Drama

Angela Bassett does not age. 

Squid Game! Lee Jung-jae!

This is really incredible that they are taking so many awards away from supposed locks. HIs jacket is fantastic, but I wish his hair was less structured. 

Best Limited or Anthology Serives

Oh god, I adore Juliette Lewis. I used to love to sing her song from the Strange Days soundtrack.

The White Lotus!!!! Hoooooooooray. One of the tightest written first seasons I've seen in a bit. I feel like everything had purpose and that's the most I can ask for from a series. 

I am really interested what category The Rehearsal will go in next year. 

Outstanding Comedy Series

Ugh, these are (mostly) all so worthy. 

YAY PETE DAVIDSON! Wearing Dickies at the Emmys. His jaw is making me nervous. 

Ted Lasso is our winner! It is quite the magical show. This category was so stacked this year. 

The cast and crew seem to genuinely enjoy spending time together. 

Outstanding Drama Series

Bleh on all these commercials. I wonder who's gonna give the award away. The presenter pairings and banter have been odd tonight. 

HOLY HELL IT'S MY GODDESS SELMA BLAIR. 

I am in awe of her. Her strength and honesty and openness. She looks incredible.

I think we've got a Squid Game shocker coming.  

Succession!!!!! Wonderful and fabulous. The Roys reign again. 

I thought Rob Schrab was accepting. 

I am here for Jeremy Strong's suit jacket. 

Kenen did alright, but I don't think they gave him space to do enough. He has much more to offer than they gave him to work with. 

That said. I loved the openness of the stage and room setup and thought Sam Jay was a breath of fresh air in the role she filled. 

 

Okay, I am going to go traumatize myself with more Euphoria now. Bye.