What I Would do With A Fuck Ton Of Money

...Right this second. 

Please somebody, anybody tell me they remember this series from sketch comedy show "The Edge" that aired on Fox in the mid-90s. 

Stay right there, I'm gonna to try to find it on YouTube. 

(true story, I stepped away from this blog post to find a video on YouTube, but then the following happened:

• A very good scene came on the episode of P-Valley I was watching
• I wasn't even supposed to be watching P-Valley today, but a couple things happened:
• My Best Friend came over for "Mole Day" (we watch a couple episodes of "The Mole" per week.)
• He informed me that he would only be able to stay for one episode. 
• I panicked, knowing we were at the end and that would leave him on the most massive cliffhanger and he'd be all jangly until he watched the finale
• I suggested instead watching the first episode of P-Valley, which we did and he also loved
• But then, once I start P-Valley, I cannot stop, so here I am, watching it instead of Dawson's Creek while I work
• I decided the scene was good enough to put on Your Favorite Episode's #YourTVMoment series on TikTok. 
• I did the thing
• Then I decided to also upload it to YouTube
• Then I remembered I made hot water for tea
• Then I went to pee and was horrified to find no toilet paper in the bathroom, when I knew I made it a point to put a roll in there this morning. 
• Put a new roll in there. 
• Realized I put the fresh roll in the bathroom that already has 5 spare rolls in it
• Spin about this failure for a while

And here I am, once again searching for that video. HAHA It took some fast forwarding through two videos, but this is what I was talking about.  

There are a couple examples right in a row, but I just love the concept of "What ____ is doing RIGHT THIS MINUTE." It has always stuck with me and I reference it constantly, so I am glad I have taken the time to find it and share it. 

The humor is more basic than I recall, but I had a more unrefined humor palate then. So I forgive myself. It's the concept that's of importance anyways. 

Ok, so what would I do with a lot of money?

Well, randomly this cathedral came across my radar. It is 50k square feet, has gorgeous original frescos and glass throughout. 

It also has a gym. 

And a theater. 

And classrooms. 

And so much damn potential. 

And the building and land are 100% in our budget. Now, granted. This place needs a Fuck Ton of work, but that's what the Fuck Ton of money is for, right?

I didn't know what my real dream was til I saw this thing. But now, I think this cathedral is waiting for me. This is the dream I want to make an actual reality. 

It started out as just a silly joke between my and my brain. 

Then I whispered it to the stuffies. 

Then I told Mickey about it in a doubtful voice. 

Then I started casually mentioning it in a joking way to some of my in person visitors. 

Then I told showed some of my chat friends. 

Then I started casually mentioning it comments, always in a light tone, never serious about it. 

But the more I started talking about, and thinking about, all the incredible possibilities of this place, I started to take myself seriously. 

Then I made a post about it. And I was surprised that some people didn't play it off like the joke I was trying to play it off. 

Then a friend reached out to me, telling me she believed in me (when I only believed in my joke) and put me in touch with creative connections in the same area of my cathedral... who knows how to navigate grants. 

Money is always my biggest obstacle. I'm not good at making it. I'm not good at saving it and I am definitely not good at asking for it. But this feels different somehow. I think all my joking about it made it my real and true dream. 

So, with that hurdle somewhat lessened, I'm tentatively taking this seriously. Which instantly makes it scary for me.

This is the part I always talk myself out of doing things. I tell myself there is someone better for this project than me. That I don't have the skills to do the thing. That I'm not good enough. Until I finally convince myself it's a dumb idea and I just give up. 

I'm gonna go visit it later this month. I'll share pics, of course.