I look up a lot.
I like the sky. I like the clouds. I like the stars. I like the moon. I LOVE the stars. And I am also a big fan of bats, which happen to be sky folk.
I even like the sun.
Except when it gets in my eyes.
This sounds cheesy AF, but the sky is like nature's watercolors for my brain. You can look away and look back and it's not the same either time.
Unless it's a crisp, clear, blue day, but that's a different kind of joy.
I've been making it a point to spend time outside lately, for a few reasons, which I will outline here in list format.
(Please note that all my lists must have at least 5 items on it or else my brain might break. It is all part of the Jacki's-brain ruleset I live by to keep myself from living with a clenched jaw and swirly thoughts 24-7)
- My brain feels better if I spend time outside. Like, if it's raining or my brain is feeling depressed and talks me out of it and I skip a day or two, it is 100% reflected in my thoughts. I am SO MEAN to myself. There are normally other factors involved, but I notice the pattern.
- Since we have put up a privacy fence, it really tickles my brain just right to play music as loud as I can on my lil red speaker and let the sound just fill the fenced in area. There's something magical about it.
- I don't like smoking flower in the house. I have a MMJ license and smoking is my preferred method of delivery. So I like being outside, cause I that's where I can have my best medicine.
- We have some interesting nature in our backyard. There's a bird that sings along every time I play the "Search Party" soundtrack. I once kept vigil over an ever-growing pile of feathers. We had a mystery skull in the backyard for a while even. I just like checking in on my neat nature things.
- I mean, that's where the pool is. And the pool brings my brain the most calm.
One of the things that I do when I'm outside is look up at our screen-less pool screen and pick out my favorite square of sky. I would do this in my head only and was, for some reason, embarrassed about it.
But then one day I told Mickey about it and I wasn't embarrassed anymore.
And then one day I posted it to my TikTok. No one said, "This is so pointless, why would someone do this?!"
That encouraged me to post them to my Instagram stories. And someone even picked THEIR favorite grid, which made me really happy in my tummy area.
So I kept doing it. And even though I don't get a lot of traction on 'em, it still makes me happy.
I dunno if there is a lesson here about unleashing the silly ideas that you keep in your brain prison, but I think there is.
What do you think? What ideas are you keeping locked up?