Theories about the deaths. Yes, deaths multiple. Theories about the sex. Theories about the secret plans to steal someone's fortune.
First off - there will be massive spoilers for Season 2 of "The White Lotus", so if you haven't yet watched up to the end of episode 6, stop reading, go watch them all.
This can be accomplished from 8pm-2am. Pretty easily. I've done it more than once myself. This week. And will most definitely do it at least once more before Sunday's finale.
(editor's note - I started writing this on Thursday and have watched it 1.5 more times since then - currently on episode 4. I will not apologize for it. This is a show for creatives and Mike White leaves so many bits and bobs to pick up on. I haven't studied a show this hard since "Mad Men". Does anyone want me to teach a class? Cause I'll teach a class. I was this obsessed with the first season, too. I was just too embarrassed about it.)
I used to get really embarrassed (ed note: ha! I wrote this earlier and now I'm rereading my previous work and this flows with the previous ed note perfectly) and ashamed about getting stuck on a show. However, I've really leaned into it with this season of "The White Lotus". Every Sunday before a new episode airs, I'll put on the preceding episodes in the background while I art or write or reorganize my books again for the millionth time or whatever.
So, I've picked up on a lot of things I think a normal viewer might not and have thus formed theories on some of these things.
I have a small, select group of people that I babble to about this season of "The White Lotus" but I fear they might be reaching their "Jacki limit" so I will just let it all spill out here instead.
First off, FINAL WARNING FOR SPOILERS.
Second off, I know some of these are way out there theories, but it would be so cool if I picked up on something no one else did and one of these is right?
Okay, so first I'm gonna start with the deaths. I think there will be three of them for some reason. Also first, I will tell you who I do not think will die:
1. Valentina - it seems too easy and obvious for the hotel manager to die in the second season as well as the first one, so that seems like an obvious "alive til the end" character.
2. Tanya McQuoid - She's the throughline between season one and season two. The character is an absolute fucking gem and I don't think Mike White would let that magic leave after only two seasons.
3. Cameron - Cam seems like the obvious death to me based on what they choose to show us in the previews each week and the writing of his character. I think Cam is a red herring. However, I do have a couple theories about him that I'll get into a bit later. I'm fairly sure he's surviving, though.
So those are the three people I think are most likely NOT to die. Now that that bit is out of the way, let's talk about some of my other theories.
I will start with Tanya McQuoid. In the first episode, when Greg was being all shifty and secret phone call-y, I thought he might be sick again and had to go get some treatment or an appointment or something else and he didn't want to worry Tanya. I really love her character and don't want anything to happen to her.
But I think Greg and the Palermo crew are scamming her. Greg is obviously the straight cowboy that Quentin (the leader of the 'crew') fell in love with in Montana that he "would have done anything for 20 years ago.... hell, I'd still do anything for him now." (or something very similar. It is not an exact quote and I'm still on episode 4 and I'm not gonna fast forward to find out.) There was a hidden camera in the room where Tanya was getting serviced by the Italian stud, too.
My theory (and this is a pretty common theory) is that Greg is trying to get Tanya to break the infidelity clause in their prenup so he can get some of her fat stacks of cash. And maybe if that doesn't work, they'll use her assistant Portia as bait - cause she's all secluded away with the drunk "nephew" in some hotel room. Like, that's probably what's going on.
However, it's not the only theory I have about the situation. Because I don't want anything to hurt Tanya, I have come up with alternate theory about this Palermo situation. Walk with me here - They didn't show up until Greg left, his pic was in the palazzo and Quentin basically said he'd do anything for his unrequited cowboy love. All of that is sus, yes. But what if... and this is a big what if... what if the "anything" Quentin is doing for Greg is just showing his high maintenance wife a good time while he's gone, because he feels bad.
It could happen, right? I don't think it will, but wouldn't it be the best twist?! It's way out there though and I think your typical viewer will be shocked enough with the trickery that will unfold. Oh, also, I think Portia is okay, because the death happens at the hotel - not in Palermo.
For the triad of toxic masculinity, I think old gramps is dying. But I think it's not gonna be dramatic or a murder or anything. Maybe he'll fall down again or go in his sleep, but I think Nono is nono more. (I'm sorry for that sentence.) I think gramps dies just to they can say "bodies" and "GUESTS (plural) have died" in the opening sequence.
Now, I had completely ruled out Lucia Greco and Mia as deaths completely, but then I remembered they are actually listed as guests on Dominic and Grampa's rooms, so they technically might be one or two of the bodies bodies bodies.
I don't think they are, though. I think they are a part of ANOTHER money scamming scheme - or Lucia is at least. She says multiple times in the series that her dream is to go to Los Angeles and her eyes light up so much whenever Dominic or Albie mention it. So I think she's trying any way she can to get them to take her back with them.
Up to and including pretending that Alessio is her pimp. I do not think he is her pimp at all. I think Alessio is Lucia's brother. In the very first episode, we see Lucia saying "Ciao!" to Alessio in a very friendly, non-afraid manner. Not like someone she was ever terrified of. I think her brother might be a little concerned about her lifestyle and is trying to bring her home. And Lucia's using Alessio's natural concern to make it look like she's in trouble to the toxic masculinity trio so they will rescue her.
Will it happen? Let's see, but I really don't think Alessio is her pimp.
Now onto the two couples. I am trying to think which theory to mention first, cause I have a few about these four. There's a lot going on.
I think Cam and Daphne are broke and Cam is trying to hide it from Daphne. There are a few offhand comments that Cam makes about Daphne spending "all his money" that seem like they are just throwaway lines, but I think there is more to them. The panic in Cam's eyes when he hears that Daphne rented a sick palazzo seemed to reveal more than FOMO. I think Cam is trying to get money from Ethan so that Daphne doesn't find out about the brokeness.
He might get away with it because I also think he and Ethan did the fucksies. Like, I think they did the sex in college and then maybe reconnected and did the sex when they were on molly with the hookers.
Ethan is definitely not comfortable with that part of himself, so I think he's mega-ashamed, which makes him ripe for blackmail.
Now, I have an alternative theory that Daphne knows they are broke, knows Cam and Ethan did the fucksies and THAT'S what's she's referring to when she tells Harper to "pretend it didn't happen" - not the generic cheating Harper suspected initially.
I also think Daphne's kids are her trainers. This is revealed in a moment that I don't see many other people talking about. She and Harper are sitting on a couch talking about what the boys may have gotten up to when the two girls were in Noto. Daph tells Harper about her trainer, with blonde hair and blue eyes and talks about how cute he is and asks Harper if she wants to see a pic of her trainer, but instead shows a pic of her kids - who are blonde haired and blue eyed.
Moments like that are what make "The White Lotus" so much fun for my brain to dissect.
So between the comedown from the molly, combined with not fully knowing what they did during their boys night AND the fact that Ethan is really paranoid about Cam sleeping with Harper when she came up to get her hat, I think Ethan is gonna kill himself.
I think Ethan is the body floating in the beginning. I think Daph's scream was not just a body discovery scream, I think it was an "I know that body" scream.
The writers made such a big point of both Ethan's morning runs and Harper's offering of ambien to everyone too. I think that's a whole combo of things that's gonna end up to a surprise Ethan sewerslide.
Okay, I think that is all. What do you think is gonna happen in the last episode? That's another thing I love about this show - everyone I've talked to about it has a different theory about who's gonna die.
Almost everyone says gramps, though.
Thank you, Mike White, for this incredible gem of a TV show. It is an absolute masterclass in writing.