I'm Trying to Drop the Word "Just" from my Vocabulary and ...it's HARD.

I know what you're thinking:

JUST DO IT. 

But that's the thing, Nike, if I could "just" do it... I would. 

Here's my issue with the word "just":

It makes me feel very less than when I can't figure something out and someone says "Oh that's easy, Just do this."

Or if I'm excited about an accomplishment and they reply, "Oh that's not a big deal, you were just doing what writers are supposed to do!"

Or when a kid is crying and someone says, "Oh they just want attention." 

Like, I feel it is mostly used to minimize other people, so I'm trying really hard to stop using it in that manner. 

It's fucking hard. 

I know it sounds easy. Even using the word in a sentence trying to get me to stop using it makes it sound easy. 

"Just stop."

How about I can't? And stop trying to make me feel bad for not stopping all at once immediately, brain? I'm doing my dang best. 

How about YOU stop using the word, too, brain? Ain't so easy is it?

And I was having a conversation with someone a few moments ago and I used it again!

Like, I don't have a problem with using it like, "just a few minutes ago" or "just now".

But anywhere it's used where there's implied knowledge, I feel like it's in there just to make the receiver feel "less than". 

Like they are saying, "Ugh, it's so easy, how do you not know this... you just______!"

Like they are looking down on me for not knowing whatever. 

I know I am not doing a good job of illustrating why it bothers me so much, but it makes me feel dumb all the time. So I'm trying to avoid using it so I don't make other people feel dumb. 

I know I've been guilty of it in the past, so I am definitely no saint myself, but I am trying gotdangit. 

Also, please take this rant with a grain of salt as I feel a depressing creeping in. I'm on this wonderful extended PMS that peri-menopause gives me, plus Mickey's been gone since the beginning of time it feels, so the weekends are lonely AF right now. 

That's all.