I feel like I'm all over the place this week, blog-wise.
But y'all, I'm really excited about this secret project and I simply cannot stop working on it.
I even had a dream about it last night. It involved me doing research, which might not sound very exciting to you. Researching new things is extremely satisfying to me, though, so I was INTO IT.
What was I researching? Well, you'll just have to listen to find out.
Er, no. Not listen.
There is no listening. Just visit this here site and talk about TV with me. That's all I'm excited about.
Nothing else. 😈
Ok, so this is Ron Gant or Gron Rant or Ron Grant or whatever combo of letters we decide on at that moment.
He's obviously a big fan of the Atlanta baseball team, as am I! He's been my sidekick a lot lately throughout all this work we're doing on Your Favorite Episode.
He sits next to me and just offers comfort when I get frustrated and start yelling at my computer.
He's a real good guy. He came from the Atlanta airport on one of my fella's many trips. I knew immediately what his name would be. Ron Gant was my favorite baseball player from when I was INTO baseball. I still have an entire binder full of Ron Gant memorabilia. So that name was a given.
And his pure soft cuddliness.
But what I wouldn't be able to predict is what happened this weekend!
I had a friend over and she brought a stuffie of her own to hang with us. And, y'all, she was the yin to Ron Gant's yang. I regret that I didn't take a pic of her, but I'm hopeful her owner is reading and will share one on the comments on Facebook!
Here's what I immediately did though and I've been thinking about it a lot ever since.
I immediately coupled them up. I think I even said out loud, "Wow! They look like they could be married!"
Like, why was that my instinct?! Why did I feel the need to put these two stuffies in a relationship right away. They didn't even know each other.
It made me think about the importance that was put on romantic relationships by everyone when I was growing up. My family, the media, the books I read, advertising, all of it.
I have a fleeting memory of living in Kansas City and being pressured to flirt with our backyard neighbor because he would "grow up handsome." I moved to Georgia in First Grade, so I could't have been more than 6.
That fucking grosses me out now. And all of the other times it happened after that too.
Nothing was more important than getting coupled up. Fuck I wish I would have switched that narrative earlier in my life, cause I really think I would have been much happier.
I could have invested the "romance" time into figuring out what really made me happier career-wise.
I could have invested in true friendships instead of shitty, pointless relationships.
I would have stopped feeling like I'm in a competition with other people.
I would have stopped ignoring my feelings or needs in favor of others, because if I was "too needy" or "felt too much" I never would find true love.
And this one is most important to me:
I would have taught my daughter these important things. But instead, I kind of had to learn them from her. She's a much stronger and headstrong person than I ever was and I am amazed at her every day because of that.
I don't regret anything though, cause it was all a learning experience. I just wish I would have learned earlier.