I decided i want to write this informercial style for some reason, so please bear with me.
Hey, you! Yeah you!
Do you find yourself tossing and turning at night? Just spinning and spinning around like a rotisserie chicken until you can find a comfortable sleeping position?
Are you also really deep into peri-menopause and your hips hurt so bad every time you PMS, but you sleep on your side, so you can never find the right spot to get your daily allotted number of zzz's? And then the lack of sleep makes the hormones taking over your brain feel extra spicy and it's just a whole ball of poor communication just waiting to happen?!
That one might be too specific, but you never know. Oh, I see you, ma'am! You feel me, don't you?! I see those bags under your eyes.
Damn! No need to snap. Yeesh.
So maybe that's not it for you - maybe instead you're neurodivergent, also like me, and always sleep with your hands tucked awkwardly under your head or pillow. Do you also wake up every day with the pointiest of elbows that you have to shake out to make 'em feel right every morning before you get going?
Oh wow, listen to the roar of that audience! Y'all are really feeling me! Pointy elbow crew unite!
You do look pretty tired, all of you! Like you could use some rest. Don't snap at me, though. Just take a breath and listen, because I have the silliest solution.
It worked for me and it might for you too!
I'll warn you though - like I said just a few moments ago - it's a silly one.
And so simple -
Lay on your back.
Now, I know what your saying! You're saying, "Jacki. I can't sleep on my back! I try all the time and I just get twitchy until I have to lay on my side and start the rotisserie choreography all over again."
And you'd be right, because that is the first thing I said myself when I was presented with this new-fangled idea!
Sleep on my back? Puh! Sounds impossible, right?
To say the least, I was a skeptic.
But, I kept watching the TikTok. (Yes, I got this amazing piece of advice from TikTok).
Ha Ha Ha. (obviously fake laugh) That cat is ready to go, ain't they? Not quite, buddy, I have a bit more to tell you first.
Cause here's the trick, you don't just lay on your back, you ALSO lay on your hands.
But the other night, I found myself in rotisserie hell and decided to give it a shot.
Believe it or not, y'all, it worked!
I was tossing and turning and then something in my brain said, try that sleeping on your back trick Mickey shared with you on TikTok.
I rolled onto my back and arranged the pillow so that it was both encapsulating and supporting my head perfectly, but also ensuring that there are zero hot air pockets because I absolutely cannot sleep with hot air on my face. I'll twitch right offa the bed.
Then, I make sure my weighted blanket is evenly distributed around me, so it is not heavier in one place than another. This is so important to me that I wrote an entire blog post about it.
Then I put my hands underneath my thighs, right underneath the bubble of my booty. I fell back to sleep almost instantly.
And I stayed asleep, somehow.
I still woke up on my side, but without nearly as much hip pain. In fact, it was almost non-existent!
So, now when I wake up in the middle of the night with two sore hips, I take some time arranging myself and my bedding, slide my hands underneath myself and drift off to dreamland, the only time and place I can see things in my brain!
And my waking up pain and sleep quality has increased an incredible amount! (Pretend someone has drawn an official line chart depicting this.)
And for the low, low price of reading this blog or watching the TikTok I linked above, you can have the same results! Hurry now! Supplies are running out! (you know there are still a few folks running around out there with a hunger that only hands can satisfy.)