I Watch Netflix's Brand New Series "The Mole" - Episodes 1 & 2

I finally became the next person to date Pete Davidson, so that means I have a lot of time on my hands. I am the biggest fan of the original two seasons of ABC's "The Mole" hosted by snarkyboi Anderson Cooper.

I even made art based on it. 

So I was OVER THE MOON to hear there was a new season and patiently waited for it be complete. The Finale is in two days, so I'll be all caught up by then. 

This will be mostly stream of consciousness, because, honestly, I'm just doing this for me, because I have the time and I love babbling about things I love. 

Episode 1:

Why are they all young(ish), thin and pretty(ish)? This does not bode well. One of the things that made the original "The Mole" so fantastic was the complete variety of people. 

These people do not seem very smart. That should be an application requirement. WTF. 

It's an interesting choice to have the contestants rough it the first night. It's an great way to force bonding... or at least speed it up. I don't know if it rings true for "The Mole" though, because one of the things that made that show so enticing to me was the fact that they pretty much stayed in luxurious places and also ate luxurious food. 

The mole moled already?! This obviously?! On episode 1? Ugh, please no. What an obvious misdirect by an unintelligent player. These players are already playing too hard. This is a sit back and observe kind of game. Blehhhhh.

Obviously I am not impressed yet. 

Ok, but then this is a fancy house that feels like I have dreamt about it before. What a weird sense of deja vu this is. Maybe in an alternate timeline I was on this show. 

(plz know that I am currently covid positive, so I am allowed big ridiculous thoughts like that. thank you.)

Ugh, I dunno. I hope they rely more on intellect and less on drama. They are hitting all the wrong notes. They tried to late seasons of Survivor it. We can't even get a single normal episode before throwing twists in? Plz, no. This show doesn't need the glitter. 

Ooh, the quiz is coming up! That's the only acceptable time for drama on this show in my opinion. The lighting should be ridiculous, the music cues should be big and scary, and the laptops should be thicc. 

Actually I'm sure they'll use tablets, right?

I always loved the "quiz" as a way to eliminate players, because it removed emotion from the equation kind of. It's harder to gang up on other people that way.

What in the fuck is this mobile device bullshit? Not dramatic at all. 

Oh, okay, I thought it was all happening at once. 

But still, why eliminate the big showy public screen? I loved that!

I guess it makes it easier to watch the other player's reactions this way, but I dunno. It feels cheap somehow. 

AND THEY ARE USING "THE CIRCLE" STYLE EDITING. NO. NO, NETFLIX. This is dumb. Goddammit. 

Episode 2:

I hate this fake manufactured episode carry over drama. Like, the original format was perfect as it was - why fuck with it?! I know I am old man-ing over here, but, come on. I am pretty much an expert on this show and I'm kind of disappointed thus far. 

Where is the nice part where the non-eliminated contestants talk nice about the person who just got eliminated?

Instead they are talking about THEMSELVES. This is trash. They didn't get the heart of the show at all. 

I used to want to be on this show as a contestant, but now I want Netflix to hire me to make this work. I LOVE "the Circle" and think that it really refreshed the reality competition genre. I even said during the last season that it was a good indication that Netflix would be bringing "The Mole" back. I was right.

But they have fucked it up. 

Ok, good. Here we go with some history - except they just told us the place was historical, but not why. Okay great. This host doesn't have the right level of snark. We need someone who feels like they are torturing the players for their own joy, like Anderson. 

Seeing people do jailbreaks as a game nowadays just feels icky to me. There are so many other ways they could have framed this, but nope, couldn't get creative. 

Don't get me wrong, there are some players I like a lot already. Avori, in particular which makes me think she's either the winner or the mole. 

Most of the contestants don't seem great at problem solving thus far, though. I'd honestly be interested in the casting process for this season. It seems like most of them have never even conquered an escape room, which seems like the bare minimum requirement to be a contestant on "The Mole". 

Again. Netflix, do you need help with this show? I am here for you. 

If Samara is the Mole and she is THIS OBVIOUS THIS EARLY, I'm gonna sew myself a Season 4 "Search Party" soft desk with a lot of soft desk objects (that I have also sewn) so that I can Season 3 "Succession" Tom Wabmsgans desk flip.

In frustration instead of joy, though. 

Okay, Jacob might be okay, though. No genius, but smart enough to play this game at least. 

Also, this prison challenge is just a rip off of the season hotel challenge in the finale - except that one was a lot more challenging. I get it, though, it was later in the game, with the best players left, so it could be more complicated. 

Fucking another goddamn deal?! Two in one episode. 

I might have to go down a statistic taking rabbit hole if I get really bored. 

Ok, now this is getting exciting though. The third team is almost there. 

So close to the end!!!! And another deal has been offered. 

I am also sad that the editors seem to be focusing on the negative comments made in confessionals. That's not what this show is about, y'all. 

Except, I guess it is, cause it's y'all's show now. 

Ok, good they made it AND they're going to a fancy hotel.

Oooh, a classic night out secret challenge?!

Oh no, the other group is missing!

Ok, this is some appropriate mystery. I am into this. 

Hmm. What's the twist here? Do nothing for 45 minutes?

Fucking christ.

An exemption?!

For a whole team?! UGH.

I immediately lost all interest.

All of the confessionals where they talk about who the mole could be feel more accusatory than trying to figure out a mystery. I think that is a big part of how the vibe of this reboot has missed the mark. 

Pay attention to ALL the words, y'all. This is a lesson I've learned from yelling "READ THE CLUE" while watching "The Amazing Race".

Wtf, mate. Another dumb cliffhanger edit. 

I wish shows would believe in their product enough that they didn't feel the need to do this bullshit. 

I'll probably keep doing this for all the episodes. This was very fun.